My Journey....

I don't weigh myself regularly.  I stopped about a year into my practice.  The practice of Vinyasa Yoga encourages us to feel our way into postures, studios usually do not have mirrors.  This helped me start to align my emotional eating habits with a healthier lifestyle.  My focus was based on how I felt after eating and how the food I was eating impacted my yoga practice, the way my clothes fit, etc.  

Feeling all the various emotions we are made of, instead of numbing with food, is something I will always 'practice'.  Without judgement when I stumble and repeat old patterns, I am able to witness my behaviors that keep excess weight on my body.  Svadhyaya is the Sanskrit term for 'self study'.  Its allows us to embrace vulnerability and humility in our behaviors.  It allows me to acknowledge the fall and pick myself back up with a practice supporting my  repetition of an old behavior.  It removes shame and guilt which can often attach to such behaviors, fueling self doubt and making the climb out of our slump to last longer than it needs to.  

We are all showing up as best we can at any given moment, humility is honored as we meet ourselves where we are on the journey with self love and compassion.

Pre-Yoga, I felt disconnected from most things, my relationships with others and especially myself.  With traditional yoga offering Spiritual Principles as a base layer, it provided me a connection to something new for me, a Higher Power.  

Ma (mother nature) became where I felt the most connected with myself.  It offered me the ability to breathe and feel at ease in my body.  I know this now to be my source or connection to a Higher Power.  

Despite what challenges I faced, there seems to be a sense of serenity and calmness much like what I felt at the end of my Vinyasa practice whenever I'm out in nature.  

Today I'm outdoors as often as I can be.  The disconnect from all the distractions that keep my stress levels elevated are erased amongst the scenery.  Yoga mat and journal in tote, meditation and stillness are part of the process too, the connection runs deep within me.  

This connection to mother nature, opened up a connection to who I was authentically.  I hadn't been showing her to the world, out of fear of being judged, comparison to others, and all the other ways we hide behind layers of emotional pain.  

I am still carving away layers from previous experiences and will always be a student of life and this practice.  I do believe we are here to learn, way past what any educational system can provide.  Human connection and how we interact with the world is our biggest classroom and teacher!